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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28279596">Ruksati</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightningwaltz/pseuds/lightningwaltz'>lightningwaltz</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Jodhaa-Akbar (2008)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Friendship, Gen, Memories, Yuletide Treat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 22:35:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,960</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28279596</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightningwaltz/pseuds/lightningwaltz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The past was haunting Hamida.</i>
</p><p>[Or; Hamida Banu Begum and Gulbadan Begum discuss princess Jodhaa as well as some events in their past.]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Yuletide 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ruksati</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/avani/gifts">avani</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Happy Yuletide avani!</p><p>Your Yuletide letter really stuck out to me because I love Hamida Banu Begum, and Jodhaa Akbar jumpstarted that interest! I googled her after seeing the movie back in 2008 (I was curious about why she said she was away from her son for so long.) I was really struck by the details of her life, as well as how so much of her wit leaps out in accounts of her refusing to marry Humayun at first. Learning about Hamida also led to learning about Gulbadan. I've always liked imagining she's one of the older women that welcome Jodhaa to Akbar's palace, and it's generally fun to imagine her in the world of this movie. </p><p>So all that plus seeing your letter led to me wanting to write a Yuletide treat for you with them talking about the arrival of Jodhaa, as well as Hamida's past. I hope you enjoy and thank you for the inspiration. </p><p>Content note: Hamida was married off as a young teen. There were also wars during Humayun's reign that led to the death of at least one of his young children. These topics are touched on but not delved into in detail.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The past was haunting Hamida. </p><p>This was unusual for her because she had long since trained herself out of backward-looking sentimentality. There were many things she would not have survived, otherwise. Not when she'd signed name beside Humayun's name (instead of Hindal's) on the nikah-nama. Not when she'd had to flee with that new husband, seemingly at odds with a freezing desert wind the entire way. Not when she'd set her baby Jalal into his relatives' arms in order to venture into Persia. And certainly not when Humayun had fallen to his heath and accidentally ended his chaotic reign. Hamida could have stood still that day, but instead she had sought out Maham Anga in order to shore up support and protection for Jalal. </p><p>Hamida's peripatetic life generally fell into two categories. Either it was due to a choice made for her, and she chose to shape the results to her own desires. Or she kept moving in order to protect her son and others that she had come to love. Even now that things had settled - even now that she spent much of her time in the zenana - a part of her was always eyeing the horizon, preparing to flee. </p><p>Today, though, a certain group of people had traveled to <i>her</i>. In some ways their arrival had even begun even before they had appeared at the Fort's threshold. Jalal had sent orders ahead of his arrival, asking that they prepare vegetarian Rajasthani food for his new bride. Every region in Hindustan swore by different configurations of spices, and that particular scent had Hamida toppling back through time. Back and back to her quarters in Umerkot, where the royal women had fussed over her and sent thali plates full of foods meant to nourish her during the last weeks of her pregnancy. </p><p>Likewise, she had been struck by the familiar sight of the princess Jodhaa and her entourage. They weren't the women of Umerkot, no, but they wore their veils and saris in the same manner. Their clothing seemed to stay even when they stood still. There was something in Jodhaa's manner that reminded Hamida of Rana Prasad's wife, as well, and she wanted to reach back through the years and return that hospitality in kind. </p><p>Hamida waited for Salima to confirm that Jodhaa had been situated. After hearing this, Hamida decided to seek out Gulbadan Banu Begum. Her sister-in-law was very good at helping Hamida navigate the unexpected.</p><p>It was never very difficult to locate Gulbadan. As expected, she was in her rooms, seated at her writing desk. The setting sun gleamed on some ink drying on the piece of paper set before Gulbadan. </p><p>"How is your new daughter-in-law?" Gulbadan said by way of greeting. Were they in the presence of others she would have observed certain protocols, but they'd long since stopped standing on ceremony when they were alone. </p><p>"I like her." Hamida said it automatically, but it also felt true. </p><p>"So you don't think she <i>actually</i> pointed a sword at Jalal and demanded that the Fort be converted into a shrine to Krishna, yes?"</p><p>That made Hamida laugh. Hamida had it on good authority that the princess had asked to keep her faith, but Jodhaa had also done it peacefully, behind a curtain. "You know that's a rumor."</p><p>"Yes, and it was my very favorite one!"  Gulbadan was smiling. "Maham Anga dislikes her, you know." </p><p>"Maham Anga..." Hamida chose her next words carefully. Although she and Gulbadan were alone, the walls here sometimes seemed to have ears. "She worries that allowing for exceptions for wives would set a bad precedent. Others will start asking for exceptions, too, and they would be right." </p><p>"Why do you like the princess Jodhaa?" From anyone else it might sound like an accusation. From Gulbadan it just sounded like well-meaning curiosity. </p><p> "She has a very kind aspect to her." </p><p>Gulbadan made a sound of approval and otherwise failed to elaborate. There was no need. They both knew that there was often a lack of kindness in a Gurkani emperor's life.</p><p>It was also possible Gulbadan was distracted. Hamida knew better than anyone to expect Gulbadan's full attention when she was at her largest writing project yet. A few years ago Jalal had authorized that Gulbadan write a biography for Humayun. Such an enterprise was anathema to Hamida. Humayun had accomplishments, to be sure, but there had been a great deal of devastation, too. Committing it to ink seemed to be granted that pain a kind of permanency that Hamida never wanted to stomach. </p><p>It didn't seem to bother Gulbadan, though. She could sit there, writing down the most painful moments of her family's life and doing so in some of the most elegant calligraphy Hamida had ever seen. </p><p>"I am almost done," Gulbadan said, when she noticed that Hamida had been eyeing her work. </p><p>"Sister, dear, you've been done with it six times now." </p><p>"You will forgive me if I recall more things to elaborate on, or I am able to discuss matters with other women that were there for various events." </p><p>Hamida picked up the nearest piece of paper. When she read it she wanted to drop it, as if the the document had burned her. </p><p><i>My brother's young child, Aqiqa Sultan Begum, had a wonderful spirit that invigorated everyone in the family, even when we were traveling and supplies were depleted in the war camp. She enjoyed sweets and kites. Once her father allowed her to hold an egg shaped diamond. She entertained us all with tales of the jewel-encrusted birds that might hatch from such an egg.</i> </p><p>Below those words, Gulbadan had made a note to herself not to include this in her work on Humayun.</p><p>"I never had the fortune to meet any of Bega Begum's children." Whenever she thought about them she always realized, with a start, that they would have been Jalaluddin's siblings.</p><p>Humayun's chief wife hadn't been friendly, nor had she been hostile. She had been powerful, and distracted, and sad. When Hamida had finally joined the rest of Humayun's zenana, she had sighed over Hamida's youth and muttered that her husband had been irresponsible marrying during a war. Let alone carrying his young bride this way and that. </p><p>"My brother told you about Aqiqa's fate, right?"</p><p>"Yes." Humayun would sometimes hold Hamida close and cry about it, but Hamida kept this to herself. "She was lost in the confusion of battle when she was seven." </p><p>"Yes." </p><p>"Why aren't you including these details about her?"</p><p>Gulbadan tapped her fingers against the desk, considering. She often did this when she had something critical to say about Jalal but did not want to risk offending his mother.</p><p>"You may be candid," Hamida added. </p><p>"It's difficult to write about Humayun without writing about everyone else in his orbit. An emperor always has a household full of people. Sometimes I wander too far afield discussing the women that were part of Humayun's world and I have to rein myself in. I would rather not know which women your son values and which he does not. The loss of my niece was so painful I'd rather be the one to tell myself to pare down my writings about her rather than be ordered by someone who never know her." </p><p>Hamida reached out to squeeze Gulbadan's hand. Her sister-in-law smiled as if mocking herself.</p><p>"Here I'm describing being rather mercenary with myself, and here you are showing me compassion." </p><p>"I couldn't do what you do," Hamida said. It really was a time for honesty. </p><p>"And I couldn't do what you do," Gulbadan said. Rather obscurely in Hamida's opinion. "Now, what brings you to visit me?" </p><p>Hamida opened her mouth. Then she closed it. She thought she knew the answer, but now she wasn't entirely certain. </p><p>"I think I'd... like to tell you about Jalal's birth."</p><p>Now it was Gulbadan's turn to stare. She kept her eyes focused on Hamida, slowly pulling a fresh sheet of paper onto her desk. She was acting as thought Hamida happened to be a deer that might run. This was justified. For over a year Gulbadan had been asking Hamida for details about Humayun's life that Gulbadan had not witnessed. And for over a year Hamida had been delaying and deferring. </p><p>Now, though, she felt ready to talk. Something about the presence of the Rajput women in their midst brought that out of her. </p><p>"Jalal was born in a Rajasthani household you know."</p><p>"I know." Even Gulbadan's voice was unobtrusive. </p><p>"The day we arrived I ... had been trying to goad my husband into arguing with me." Because, even though Hamida was good at moving forward, she had never been able to flee misery. There were few things more miserable than a journey through the desert while thoroughly pregnant. Back then she had had few things left in her control other than her voice. </p><p>"Were you successful?" </p><p>"No. He ... you know how he set his behavior by astrology."</p><p>"Oh, I know it." Gulbadan's voice was still quiet, but it had taken on an amused edge.</p><p>"He told me that it was not the day of the week for him to be combative, but I could try again in a few days." </p><p>"That must have been annoying."</p><p>"I was furious."</p><p>"What did you say in response? Don't worry, I won't include these details."</p><p>"Nothing. Rana Prasad and his men intercepted us then."</p><p>"Were you frightened?"</p><p>"Oh, very much so!" After a few weeks in Umerkot, Hamida had been able to string together a few phrases in Dhatki. In that moment, though, she hadn't been sure what was going. </p><p>Gulbadan was writing without looking down at her hand. "But you were treated with respect." </p><p>"Yes ... I ... yes." Hamida's eyes stung, then, and she's baffled. She hadn't cried back then, why was she crying now that those days were long gone. In many ways it was a happy memory, after all. </p><p>"What happened, sister?"</p><p>"I was led to the wife of Rana Prasad." Even now Hamida does not know her name. "She and her women fussed over me and the state of my blistered feet. They brought out warm water strewn with flower petals and indicated that I should soak my feet in it. A few of them touched my stomach, and I think they were reassuring me that my child would be alright. They brought me a thali plate and made sure I didn't eat so fast I would be sick. Then I went to a freshly made bed and slept for the better part of a day."</p><p>And so Hamida talked. She talked and talked and talked, until her voice went hoarse and Gulbadan had to light the candles. She spun out memories of her time in Umerkot. For a while, it felt as those she was living side-by-side with the present and those long ago days. </p><p>"Thank you," Gulbadan said when though both were taking a break. Hamida was drinking tea to wet her now dry throat. Gulbadan was rotating her hand in order to work out soreness from writing so much.</p><p>"Whatever for? My son and emperor expects this work to happen. I would have told you eventually."</p><p>"Still, it's not in your nature to dwell," Gulbadan said. "And I value any Gurkani woman's story." </p><p>Hamida sipped some tea, breathing in the scent of saffron. </p><p>"Yes, well... Should we ask for the kitchen to send us whatever remains of what they prepared for princess Jodhaa?" It had been so long since she sampled Rajasthani food, and she had been hungry for it all day. It would give her something less intimidating to discuss with Jodhaa, as well.</p><p>Laughing, Gulbadan agreed that that was a fine idea.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A lot of details in this work come from the non-fiction book Daughters of the Sun by Ira Mukhoty. I recommend it if you're interested in the lives of Mughal women, particularly during the reigns of the first few emperors!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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